Courage | PeopleSense Consulting

Move outside your comfort zone — at your own pace

On October 26, 2011 / Change, Graceful Leadership / 9 Comments

“I’ve always believed that the pure of heart can go unharmed where others fear to tread.”

This is what Grace does when she gets overwhelmed -- snuggles in deep, nice and cozy within her comfort zone. Ever had one of those days?

That is a quote from a fellow blogger, Sara. She had written it months ago and at the time, I retyped it and taped it next to my monitor so I could read it often and be reminded of its message. To me, it was a way of saying that moving outside of your comfort zone can be invigorating rather than agonizing. When you are clear about something (pure of heart), then the choices become easy and you can move forward instead of keeping the status quo that you aren’t happy with. You can acknowledge your fear but you don’t have to be bound by it.

The proverbial backbone: having the courage to speak and listen openly to others

On September 29, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 18 Comments

Grace has always seemed so agile to me. Maybe there is more than meets the eye. I'm about to find out. Photo by Annie Card.

Tomorrow morning Grace and I are leaving at the crack of dawn (she doesn’t know this yet) and drive two hours west. We’re going to meet a dog chiropractor and have her evaluate Grace.

Mind you, I’m not even sure what, if anything is wrong with Grace. I know most people would (and will) think this is excessive. Some people don’t even go to their family doc on a regular basis—much less take their dog to a chiropractor who lives two states away. At least most dog owners I know.

Missed opportunities for leadership

On July 1, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 6 Comments

Grace is shying away from the Pause Table, something she is normally confident in doing, but it was a new environment that intimidated her. I'm asking her to stay and her focus is on someone else as she leaves the area. Great photo taken by Jo-Ann Gerde.

In my last post,I talked about situations where we might step in too aggressively and lead through some event or task when it would have been better to follow. Some people are just natural leaders and they are comfortable taking control of any situation – especially when there is a void and no one else is doing so. Sometimes, like with Grace, the motivation is rooted in insecurity. But even for those confident individuals, it’s good to remember that there are times when it’s beneficial to sit back and let the other person provide the needed leadership.

After a comment made by faithful reader Didi, I got to thinking about the opposite circumstances–those times when we step back from a leadership situation even though we should speak up or take action.

Yesterday afternoon when Grace and I went on our typical walk, she did exactly that. We walk on a road that runs parallel to a small river. There was a mom and two kids fishing and as we approached, Grace got increasingly anxious. The closer we got to them, her body lowered to the ground as if to become invisible, her tail tucked tight under her belly, and she started to pull hard on her leash to get far, far away from the situation. The kids weren’t even paying one single bit of attention to her. If she had been able to get past her fear and approach them confidently, I’m certain they would have welcomed her with a kind voice and pat on her head. A pro-active rather than reactive approach would have had a much less stressful outcome for her! Instead, I picked her up and got her out of the area, calmly but quickly. She continued to look over her shoulder, making sure they weren’t coming after her, body down and scared.

When I think of my own past experiences, I can (unfortunately) think of many times when I let others intimidate me. And the ironic part is that the intimidation was generated by my own perspective, not by anything the other person was doing. It might be an opinion was voiced that is contrary to my own, and for some reason, I felt insecure in speaking up with a different view. Or there are other times when I “go with the flow” of a particular situation, rather than determining a path of action and taking control to effect a particular outcome. It’s easier to sit back, but it’s not always rewarding. Nor does it help the quality of the outcome, especially when you offer expertise or experience that can help the situation.

Typically, each of us defaults to one side or the other. Leading too much or leading too little. Like most things in life, balance is best. The challenge is finding that balance.

It’s not my fault!

On May 20, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 6 Comments

Doesn't she have this look as if to say: "Hey, I'm just trying to find a cozy spot to nap. It's not my fault if you don't like me smelling up your clean sheets!"

During a conversation with friends at dinner last night, we were talking about taking responsibility for our own actions. I mentioned someone I know well that is often blaming another person for any and every little bad thing that happens – even though they are the one that created the situation in the first place. It’s a trap that is easy for any of us to fall in. If I blame the other person, it removes any responsibility I have to fix it. Over. Done. Not my problem. I can go on without any worries and continue to think everything is the other person’s fault.

When we witness that behavior, it’s difficult to point it out in a way that allows the person to become receptive and not defensive. If we can deliver that message with compassion and clarity, it helps everyone. Better yet, if we can get good at recognizing it in ourselves, then we influence our own interactions in a very powerful way. Sometimes (ok, often), I blame Grace for not listening to me or not being smart enough because I’ve told her a million times not to bark every time the UPS truck pulls in, or for being stubborn when she won’t come when I call her. You get the picture. It’s her fault.

So I work to avoid that natural inclination to walk away from the responsibility. It takes two to communicate, so I try to continually ask the question: “What was my role in that interaction?” “What can I change that will make the outcome the way I intended?”

When we can ask those questions – consistently and with a truly open mind to receive an honest answer – then we move from a victim to problem-solver.

Are you ready for your next hurdle?

On May 17, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Motivating / 10 Comments

She's ready! I always have to start out before Grace as she quickly catches -- and surpasses -- me in speed!

Grace is fast. Very fast. One of my challenges in working with her during agility is to keep up with her! My pictures never quite portrayed that sense of motion and so I asked a professional photographer, Annie Card, to join us in a recent class. I love the way Annie captured our movements; the pictures here today (and you’ll see more in the future) are thanks to Annie’s talents. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

When Grace walks into the room and sees the equipment, she wants to GO. No stopping. No hesitation even if she doesn’t do all the things that are considered “correct” in agility judging. She’s takes charge and leads the way, making her way around, through, and over anything close by her. I adore that. It shows her brave, courageous, curious, and fun-loving traits that are very attractive.

And I respect the same thing when I see it in an organization. You can feel the energy in the space when employees are fully engaged in their work. You can catch the enthusiasm when people are ready to move an idea forward. You know their determination and commitment when they are ready to embrace a challenge. Ready to try something different, even if it means they might make a mistake. Ready to jump over any hurdle.

The things that hold us back are usually our own fear of failure. But as has been widely documented throughout history, we can never achieve success if we haven’t yet failed at something. It’s how we learn and grow.

What are you ready to do today?

For a small dog, she has a big jump. You can see her extension as she reaches beyond her own height.

Courage comes in many shapes and sizes

On April 19, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 4 Comments

Even before Clayton could talk, he had a gaze that would follow Grace across the room, mesmerized and happy. He was born to love animals and Grace has learned to trust that; she seems to watch over him at times. Here she is in a relaxed yawn keeping him company in his bed. Thanks to Clayton

Curling up for a peaceful nap with a friendly companion in a comfy bed doesn’t conjure up images of a courageous act. But those of you who have read previous posts about Grace’s aversion to children, you know differently. It takes a ton of courage–a major leap of faith that the small person snuggled up beside you isn’t going to scare you. Or hurt you.

Grace stayed with friends this weekend while we were out-of-town and you can imagine my surprise when I received an email update to say that Grace had taken the initiative to curl up beside their toddler for a quiet hour-long nap! That took courage.

Courage: it’s a theme I’ve heard several times in the past few days. In our workplace environments, being courageous can be rare. There seems to more inertia to preserve the status quo than to make significant change, even when it makes sense to do so. Courage is the ability to move forward, despite the doubts or fear you face. It takes courage to stand up for things that we feel are right, especially when others around you may be actively resisting your initiative.

Think about your own role. You may be in a situation where you need to be courageous. Or you may be in a position to support a person doing something courageous. It can be as simple as when someone comes to you with a new idea. No matter what you first think of the idea, it’s probably worth exploring. Our first reaction may be to resist, but what’s holding you back? Why not explore? Great achievements take initiative, support, change, and courage.

Being courageous comes in many shapes and sizes. To you, something may seem easy (like taking a nap in an adorable Thomas Train bed on a lazy afternoon), but it might be monumental for the other person. And moving forward takes someone to lead and someone to support. Whatever role you play is important for a successful outcome.