Organizational Development | PeopleSense Consulting

When you want to be successful, don’t try it alone

On December 6, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Managing / 8 Comments

Sunny was an invaluable mentor to Grace; they were often chewing on sticks but there was more than just playtime occurring. Sunny was showing Grace how to interact properly.

No great accomplishment is ever done alone.

Certainly dogs rely on humans for many basic needs, but Grace started out living on the streets by herself. She found her own food and shelter; having enough self-preservation and willpower to do what she needed to survive. But even in those amazingly challenging times, I have no doubt that she watched and learned from other dogs how to work the system to get what she needed. (She is certainly a master of that now when it comes to getting things she wants from me!)

Soon after I got her, a professional trainer told me I should think of Grace as a survivor, not a victim. It was true. Grace found the resources she needed for her basic survival, even as a young pup.

Warning! There may be untapped potential all around you!

On November 18, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / Leave a comment

Coming through this dark, long tunnel of cloth might look easy, but it was quite an accomplishment for Grace. I wasn

What is the potential for any dog?

I doubt this question gets asked much by dog owners. Many of us bring a canine pal into our homes for companionship (nothing wrong with that!). But we probably don’t put a dedicated focus on helping them reach their own potential. We’re often more interested in having them fit into our lives and lifestyle. There obviously has to be some of that for a peaceful and satisfactory co-existence, but I’m talking about real efforts to bring out the best in the dog.

And the same thing happens in our workplaces. We bring on a new employee because a job needs to get done (nothing wrong with that!). But then we often leave that person on their own to figure out the ropes. We get busy or just don’t have the interest to mentor and support what they need to thrive. It seems that if they are surviving, that’s good enough. But think about the difference in the outcomes for someone who is just surviving, versus someone who is thriving.

Vacation time offers opportunity to see the big picture of “performance”

On September 16, 2011 / Leading / 11 Comments

A couple of people have asked me how Grace did while we were away on vacation. We have often left Grace with two different families, good friends who are really great with Grace, but this time was a little different. First it was longer; this would be two weeks and while there was one time we were gone three weeks, this was an unusually long time to be separated.

Hurricane Irene had roared up the East Coast just prior to our departure. She caused power outages in our region and one friend [who watches Grace] works for the electric company. After getting our local area back on track, her job required her to travel to Connecticut for major restoration efforts there. That meant she wasn’t available to be hostess to Nervous Nellie (code name for Grace). The other family who typically watches Grace had plans for part of the time we would be gone. (I never worry about her there, even though they have a small toddler, typically a huge issue for Grace. Even at three years old, that little guy somehow has made his way into her heart and Grace is even protective of him! That’s a good story for another day.)

Leaving Grace just anywhere isn’t something I’m willing to do. She gets nervous with new places and new people and I could board her, but try to leave that as a last option.

Lucky for us—and for Grace—another friend agreed to give Grace a try. Before we left, I went over and got Grace familiar with her house and property. Grace has met MaryAnn on many occasions at our house and so I was certain she would remember that connection. I just wasn’t sure what she would think about an entirely new place for a whole week. (And neither was MaryAnn!)

On our trial visit to MaryAnn’s, Grace whined nearly the entire time. Oh gosh, I’m thinking, I hope she doesn’t do that – it would drive anyone nuts. But MaryAnn wasn’t concerned and we agreed to give it a-go.

On an email check-in during the trip, MaryAnn reported that “Gracie is a very well-behaved pup, albeit a teensy sneaky!!” Pete immediately thought Grace had nabbed some tasty morsel at the first opportune moment (she is a scavenger, after all) and I emailed back to check. No, MaryAnn said that “sneaky (and just barely) equates a silent slither unto the end cushion on the couch which she knows is a no-no. She really is a sweetheart.”

Several days later MaryAnn reported: “She is the sweetest, most obedient dog I have ever known if we disregard the chipmunks that get up on the window ledge and waggle their ears at her!!!”

Her sentences made me melt. MaryAnn, in an extraordinarily concise and accurate reflection, was saying Grace was being wonderful while also being a little devil. She so clearly put in perspective where Grace behaved well and when she didn’t. And both were in a supportive tone.

I’ve seen Grace when she has sight of a small furry creature on the other side of a window. It isn’t pretty. She becomes crazy—whining, scratching, clawing and wanting to run out and hunt the beast down. You can’t control her. But MaryAnn, in her wisdom, knew that in this instance, she could disregard a very annoying behavior and think of the big picture. Grace was in a new place, new surroundings, and from the sounds of it, adjusting pretty well for a high-strung dog. And MaryAnn, so calm and wise, knew how to put the whole scene in perspective.

I do realize it’s easier to do this with a cute dog (though not always – I’ve lost my patience with her and regretted it afterwards). But with people in the workplace, it seems to me that we have a tendency to focus on the trait that irritates us, and very quickly start to shut down to recognize the value that the person contributes to the work and to the team.

I am grateful that MaryAnn could get beyond the annoying behaviors, especially as I know taking care of Grace was disruptive to her own schedule – not to mention her cat’s environment. Twinkee was less than excited to see Grace arrive. Even when our own world is turned upside down, it’s really important to put the entire scene in context. That way we can be objective as we address the issues and fair to the person involved.

Grace did ok on our vacation. That’s because she was with a good leader.

Maslow, baseball, and being safe

On July 27, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 4 Comments

When Grace feels safe, she can literally fly! I love this picture, it's as if she is soaring, both mentally and physically through this obstacle that she has mastered on her own terms, because she has felt safe doing so. Photo by Annie Card.

We watch a lot of baseball in this house. I’m not very good at those split second calls to determine whether the runner reaches the base before the ball. It all happens so fast to me and while I’m still trying to figure it out, I hear an echo in the room between my husband and Don Orsilloproclaiming: “SAFE!” They almost always get the call right.

I go through this with Grace, too. There can be a split second balance between when she feels safe and when she’s not. And I know there have been times when I catch myself discounting her fear—because I know she’ll be fine. When I’m not respectful of her fear, I have in essence, violated her safety zone. For example, when we walk down the street, we occasionally come upon someone new walking and typically the person wants to say hello to Grace. She might back up, hide behind me, or perhaps whine. And I’ve said to her, “It’s ok, Grace. You’ll be fine. This nice person just wants to say hello.” And that does absolutely nothing to make her feel safe. (The better choice is to ask the person to ignore Grace and allow Grace to initiate any interaction on her own terms.)

It was another important lesson I learned at the recent seminar I attended by Suzanne Clothier on fearful dogs—only the dog can define the safe zone. As Suzanne reminded us, safety is the second of five of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (just above basic needs like food and shelter). Until the needs are met at each level of the pyramid, you cannot move up. If we create an unsafe environment, we are going to remain there, until we feel secure. We can all understand how a child suffering from malnutrition would not be able to focus on school work. Suzanne’s belief, and one that makes sense to me, is that no learning can take place when a dog feels unsafe. But once that dog feels safe, you can teach him nearly anything.

Grace can learn to greet new people – if she can experience that in a safe environment, but never while she’s so terrified that she can’t think straight. You can’t remove fear by telling another person it shouldn’t exist; they have to come to that conclusion.

In organizations, that means that if we want employees to learn new skills, or take bold risks that will improve efficiencies, or bring forward a ground-breaking idea that might initially sound crazy, they need to exist in a safe environment, one that fosters innovation without repercussions.

Are you, as a manager – or a co-worker or a team member – creating safe zones for others? Do you respect the opinion of others and allow them to openly voice an opposing viewpoint? Do you reward ideas even if they don’t work out or do you ridicule or punish for those, even in subtle ways? Are you discounting how someone feels, just because you don’t feel that way?

Only the employee can define the safe zone.

As managers, it’s our responsibility to understand that zone, realizing it’s different with each person, and can change with a new situation. Stay in the game, so you can make that split-second decision whether to call it safe or not.

How is this for you?

On July 19, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 8 Comments

It seems to me Grace has a pose that says, "I'm ready to talk when you're ready to listen."

If you’ve been here recently, you know that Grace and I attended a workshop this past weekend designed to help dogs who are fearful. The presenter was Suzanne Clothier and it was hosted at our local humane shelter. This seminar left me with so much information that I’m still processing it all. It was sixteen hours filled with an amazing array of learning experiences.

When you’re in the presence of someone who is extraordinarily competent and compassionate, it becomes unmistakable in a short amount of time. Suzanne is that person. It’s impossible to fake the level of knowledge and experience that she brings to her work. Then add on top of that, an unyielding commitment that a dog’s safety and well-being comes before everything else. There were times (several times actually) that she stopped an exercise when it was too much for the dog. She would not push ahead just for the sake of illustration. Her vow to the dog to maintain a sense of safety and security was sacred.

I could never do justice to Suzanne’s information and presentation style, nor am I in any way qualified to offer suggestions based on what I learned regarding how to train a dog. This isn’t about offering dog training suggestions. It’s about sharing my revelations.

It’s tempting to focus on the specific tips that a person can do to help fearful dogs. But I knew as I walked out each night, it was bigger than that. It was about the greater relationship you build with the dog. During the workshop, attendees would pose a situation or question to Suzanne such as, “I’m not sure if I should do this,” or “Would it have been ok to do that?” Suzanne’s response was startling to me. Sometimes her answer was, “I don’t know. Ask the dog.”

Some of you might be thinking that’s a cop-out. Or she’s a nutcase who doesn’t have a clue. You’d be wrong. While I certainly was left feeling that I don’t know how to read the answers to a question I’d pose to Grace, I definitely gained an appreciation that Grace would have an opinion that I’d not thought to ask of her before. Just like an infant who isn’t able to form words, it doesn’t mean they don’t think or feel.

The answers come from their body language, actions, movements, and for Suzanne, there is also a mental communication that she can translate between them without words. I believe it. I just don’t know how to get there.

There’s another important component. She respects their answer.

How many times in an organization do we forget to involve the affected parties when making decisions? Can you think of a time when your manager took action on something that affected you and didn’t involve you? You bet. It’s not to say that an employee can always get what they want, but that they matter when options are considered.

If health care organizations always thought about the patient experience when developing processes, our systems would be dramatically different. What if a doctor asked a patient, “How is this for you?” If the patient questions a course of action, does the practitioner work to adjust the situation that will fit the patient’s needs? Making those adjustments shows respect for the patient’s voice.

Have you ever been caught in bureaucratic red-tape when trying to reach the right department at a call center? They would change their phone tree system if they asked the customer, “How is this for you?”

What if our educators asked students, “How is this for you?”

To be completely honest, I hadn’t thought about asking Grace how certain things are for her. Despite the fact that I would move a mountain if I could to make her world a better place, this weekend I learned that I could simply ask her when I’m not sure. And knowing that Suzanne can accomplish this with dogs, I am quite sure we can do better in our organizations by asking one question: “How is this for you?”

Is this as good as it gets?

On July 8, 2011 / Change, Graceful Leadership / 9 Comments

This isn't even Grace's bed, but you see who "owns" it. She's a bit snippy when she doesn't get her way. Of all her adorable traits, that isn't one of them. Do you know anyone like that?

Next weekend Grace and I will be attending a two-day class together. It’s for dogs that are fearful, aggressive or reactive. Grace can be all of them, in varying degrees. I submitted an application to have her considered as a case study and she was accepted. Since I’ve tried lots of things to improve these challenges, I’m incredibly interested to see what I learn.

But a nagging thought keeps going through my mind as I enter this course: when will we reach the point that Grace just won’t change? Or can’t change? Has she already stretched so much that it’s as good as it gets? Or is she able to continue to get out of her existing mindset of fear? How much influence do I have? Will I have?

It’s noteworthy to point out that Grace has changed A LOT since I’ve had her. One of the biggest improvements is her ability to accept new people, which happens much more quickly and less skeptically than she did in those early days. Yet her fear is palpable at times. And there are a few things she still does that, well, they annoy me. (Sorry Grace.)

I’m sure she’d be happier, too, if we could lessen her fear.

The three things I specifically want to address are her fear of children, her excessive and piercing barking in the house when anything or anyone moves by the window, and her whining while riding in the car. All these things I have been ineffective thus far in changing.

In reading another blog a few weeks ago, the question was posed: “Do personalities ever change?” It’s a question that is often asked in my line of work. On that blog, experts and novices chimed in with all sorts of answers, ranging from yes to no. I don’t have the clinical background or scientific data to validate this, but from what I’ve read and experienced, here’s my opinion. Sure, we can change. But it’s not always likely and it’s certainly not easy. The triggers that create change have to be very dramatic, and even then, it’s usually not lasting. We can learn skills that help us adjust in certain situations, but our core traits don’t move much.

When someone is in a job that isn’t working out, this becomes a very delicate question because it affects a person’s self-esteem and livelihood. How much can the person change to fit the job? How much can the employer invest in that growth and development? How much motivation exists for both parties to work collaboratively on it? I have seen situations where an employer and employee work hard to create success. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It depends on how much each party is able to bend. I think the critical piece is to ensure that everyone is involved in an ongoing and constructive conversation about it, with mutually understood goals.

So here I am, expecting big(ger) and lasting changes from my dog. I’ve seen pretty remarkable strides in the six years we’ve been together. We’re about to see if more can come.

Missed opportunities for leadership

On July 1, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 6 Comments

Grace is shying away from the Pause Table, something she is normally confident in doing, but it was a new environment that intimidated her. I'm asking her to stay and her focus is on someone else as she leaves the area. Great photo taken by Jo-Ann Gerde.

In my last post,I talked about situations where we might step in too aggressively and lead through some event or task when it would have been better to follow. Some people are just natural leaders and they are comfortable taking control of any situation – especially when there is a void and no one else is doing so. Sometimes, like with Grace, the motivation is rooted in insecurity. But even for those confident individuals, it’s good to remember that there are times when it’s beneficial to sit back and let the other person provide the needed leadership.

After a comment made by faithful reader Didi, I got to thinking about the opposite circumstances–those times when we step back from a leadership situation even though we should speak up or take action.

Yesterday afternoon when Grace and I went on our typical walk, she did exactly that. We walk on a road that runs parallel to a small river. There was a mom and two kids fishing and as we approached, Grace got increasingly anxious. The closer we got to them, her body lowered to the ground as if to become invisible, her tail tucked tight under her belly, and she started to pull hard on her leash to get far, far away from the situation. The kids weren’t even paying one single bit of attention to her. If she had been able to get past her fear and approach them confidently, I’m certain they would have welcomed her with a kind voice and pat on her head. A pro-active rather than reactive approach would have had a much less stressful outcome for her! Instead, I picked her up and got her out of the area, calmly but quickly. She continued to look over her shoulder, making sure they weren’t coming after her, body down and scared.

When I think of my own past experiences, I can (unfortunately) think of many times when I let others intimidate me. And the ironic part is that the intimidation was generated by my own perspective, not by anything the other person was doing. It might be an opinion was voiced that is contrary to my own, and for some reason, I felt insecure in speaking up with a different view. Or there are other times when I “go with the flow” of a particular situation, rather than determining a path of action and taking control to effect a particular outcome. It’s easier to sit back, but it’s not always rewarding. Nor does it help the quality of the outcome, especially when you offer expertise or experience that can help the situation.

Typically, each of us defaults to one side or the other. Leading too much or leading too little. Like most things in life, balance is best. The challenge is finding that balance.

Make time to devote to your professional development

On June 24, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 5 Comments

Sunny was a patient teacher

I’ve been on the road for the last couple of weeks – away on a combination of business stops mingled with a few family visits. I haven’t seen Grace for nine days and I really miss her. Of course, I miss my husband, too, along with all the routines that I enjoy in my life.

Immersed in a different daily regimen is energizing, though. The last several days I’ve spent with colleagues getting a deeper understanding of the assessment tools I use in my work. After finishing the coursework (and assuming I pass the test), I’ll receive the certification offered by Profiles International. I’ve worked with these tools for ten years and I’m still developing a robust knowledge bank about the scientific foundation of the assessments and the applications for their use. One of my favorite parts of these types of meetings is the interaction with my peers. We share information and ideas with each other that is invaluable for our professional development.

Somehow I think Grace knew she could learn from Sunny. They played endlessly, yet it was always clear that Sunny was the teacher. Grace gladly accepted the role of student. They both walked away richer for the experiences.

Being a student can be fun. When I first got Grace, we lived next door to a couple who were real dog lovers. They had one dog and another that was dropped off every weekday morning by family to stay while they were at work. Sunny was a beautiful, well-adjusted golden retriever who served as an important role model for Grace. She was a dream dog by any standard and I loved that Grace could be around her. It provided the type of mentorship that only another dog could provide to Grace.

We need those situations where we can learn from each other. Just being submerged into sessions with a variety of perspectives is worthwhile. Spending this time not only expands what I know, it shakes up how I think about things and makes it all fresh.

Grace watched Sunny's every move, especially when she did things Grace was scared to do, like swimming.

It was tempting to think that investing in this time—including travel it’s practically an entire week—was more than I could spare. It would have been easier to stay at home. Yet I know that without carving out time for continual learning, I would have limited my potential for new and better knowledge.

Make time to devote to your professional development. Even if you’d rather be at home.