Suzanne Clothier | PeopleSense Consulting

Create a culture that is true to your values

On January 6, 2012 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 9 Comments

Grace has nestled up in a comforter I took off the bed while changing the sheets. She

This past summer when I attended Suzanne Clothier’s workshop on fearful dogs, I had asked her how to curb Grace’s insistence to bark at any moving thing by our house. A car, person, animal, sometimes even a blowing twig, will incite Grace into thinking she had to protect us all with her sharp bark.

In order to change the habit, Suzanne suggested that I eliminate the stimulus. One way was to keep Grace out of the room so she wasn’t aware of the movement outdoors. Another was to put large pieces of cardboard in the window to block her view.

I didn’t say a thing but the look on my face must have given me away. In her wry and extraordinarily perceptive way, she smiled and said something like, “I’m guessing that’s not an option. I think you are a little more particular about those kinds of things in your house than I am.” It was yet one more thing I admired about Suzanne – she understood the entire situation and then re-grouped to make it work for those most involved.

You could say that Suzanne had been able to identify the culture of our home without even entering it. And she was wise enough to understand the significance of culture to the outcomes she was trying to accomplish. The perfect solution for a problem in one home may not be ideal in another.

Cultures in homes and organizations are always unique. And they should be. It’s more than just the physical space, but that’s certainly part of it. Suzanne was able to accurately project physical characteristics of my home just from her observations of our short time together. Think about all the other assumptions we can make from our work interactions.

There is no doubt that organizational cultures impact the performance of employees. If we want to change the attitude, mindset, excitement, loyalty, and productivity of our employees, we need to look at the culture.

I attended a worthwhile presentation Wednesday morning at our local Peterborough [NH] Chamber of Commerce breakfast meeting. Jon Plodzik, Director of Dining at the University of New Hampshire talked about “Creating a Workplace Culture.”

I wondered what secrets a food services director would have on the topic. I left inspired and energized about how essential workplace cultures are towards not only employee satisfaction, but organizational profitability. It wasn’t a new message, but it was a critical one. It is so clear that we cannot ignore the environment that we work in.

Jon made us laugh with his engaging and entertaining presentation style, but his message was important. Everyone in the organization is responsible for building culture, whether you are intentional about it or not. Everything you say, do, and think creates the culture. Years ago, I heard something similar, that an organization’s culture is reflected by how people act when they think no one is watching them.

Are you grumpy when you walk in the door? Do you take time to spend with those when they need it? Or are you rushed and tell them you’ll get back to them and never do? Are you fair in how you handle employee requests? Are you generous with your feedback? Are you willing to receive feedback? Or only give it? Are you open to trying new ideas presented by others? Do you take risks? Do you take action to make your customers satisfied? Do all of your actions accurately reflect what you ask others to do?

Customers understand your culture just by how employees interact with them. They don’t have to enter a physical building to get the picture. And employees can absolutely tell you about the culture of their organization—rather quickly—even if it’s not printed up in an orientation manual.

It's a bit hard to see in this picture, but Oliver is literally hanging from the window trying to get a better view of the birds eating at the feeder. In our home, the animals have a lot of leeway, but have not completely taken over. We love having animals be a part of our home with some parameters. (I know, hanging from the windows is probably a little extreme.) Creating a culture that matches what is important to you is the key.

Our home would not be selected for any exquisite house tour, but at the same time, I couldn’t imagine working in a room with cardboard up against the windows. I could consider another option, like coordinated mini-blinds, but I would hate to block the light. The look and the function both weigh in for me.

Grace might be less stressed in a room with cardboard against the windows but it’s not part of the look here. We have to find ways to get around the issue that matches our desired culture. While she could care less about how things look, Pete and I do.

There are lots of ways to build the right culture. Jon said that the key to having a successful culture is to make sure it matches your values.

Take notice of the kind of culture you are building. Is the one you want?

Establishing rules of conduct is a good idea when you have someone new on your team

On November 4, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Managing / 10 Comments

Raegan is inspecting the newly fallen snow.

Our household was turned upside down last weekend. And it had nothing to do with the 31.5” of snow that was dumped on us.

The freak snow storm, dubbed Snowtober here in New Hampshire, did not have nearly the punch as our four-legged visitor, Raegan. She’s an energetic, one-year-old silver lab who we were watching for friends for a few days. Gizmo, a geriatric white fluff ball, came along for the visit, too, but you hardly knew she was here. There was no way to miss Raegan with her forceful approach (this 3-second video gives you an idea of how spirited her presence is; it was not easy to plow through this snow yet she comes through with power!).

Who are you? (with a fresh view)

On August 19, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 3 Comments

In my last post, I talked about the importance of understanding a person by asking the question: “Who are you?” A fellow blogger, Sara, offered this comment, “I would be interested to hear how Grace and you define the answer.” It was a simple statement, but really sunk in for me. Sara had held me accountable for following my own advice and in the days following her comment, I found myself being vigilant about observing Grace. How would I define the answer?

Moments after Grace left her guard post, Dodger decided it was time to relax in the cool breeze and enjoy the butterfly and hummingbird activity happening outside. These two certainly have a vastly different view from the same spot.

I see two prominent patterns. One is that Grace is frequently in a fearful mode. She might be reacting to something that scares her, or she might just be tense, in anticipation of something that could frighten her. The second pattern is how she’s so food driven. She goes in hyper-mode when any treat comes into her view. In both cases, these aren’t new observations, but the intensity and frequency of them has been heightened for me as a result of watching more carefully.

When I think about how I might change interactions with her based on a deeper understanding of her, I realize that I could (and should) be doing more to eliminate her sources of fear. One suggestion Suzanne Clothier had for me was to block the front windows so she couldn’t see the people and cars that went by. I haven’t made much of an effort to do that, mostly because it’s inconvenient for me. I don’t want to work in a darkened office or shut out the fresh air. But I need to work harder at finding some solution that will work for us both.

This makes me realize how easy – and common – it is for managers and team members to avoid or neglect making changes that we know could help, just because they aren’t a priority for us. Because I don’t have the fear of the neighbor kids walking by, it’s not a priority for me to change the sight lines in the house. But it continues to make Grace nervous each time they walk by. How would her life – and therefore mine – change if I did something about that? What would change in your work environment if you helped another person get through a difficult assignment or situation?

The other point about Sara’s comment that I’d like to point out is how effective her simple statement was in moving me into greater action. Based on other interactions with Sara, I knew her question was coming from genuine curiosity and interest about our next steps. Her probing came from the perspective of caring and support. When a manager has a sincere interest in the employee’s progress, it instills a trusting and productive environment. As problems come up, it’s more likely that candid communication can happen to address roadblocks. It doesn’t always have to be a complicated or cumbersome exchange to make a real difference.

So now I need to figure out how to give Grace a fresh view from the front windows.

Who are you?

On August 16, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 12 Comments

This adorable exchange between Grace and Happy occurred on the morning that Happy was leaving -- four days after his arrival. It looks like they are still trying to get to know each other. We can learn from their constant curiosity and exploration as opposed to thinking we already know it all.

I’m still reviewing and processing all the information I learned at Suzanne Clothier’s recent workshop on fearful dogs. The lessons most certainly apply to all dogs – and people.

She suggests that there are elemental questions that we should ask a dog when interacting with her. The first of those questions is: “Who are you?” It seems like an easy-enough question to pose. But like most “simple” things in life, they aren’t always easy and can require quite an effort to reach the quality of outcomes that are possible.

If indeed we do think about asking this question, it’s typically on the first time we meet someone. We try to assess someone’s appearance, demeanor, words, and actions. And we do this quickly. In fact, the Society for Human Resource Management Association produced a study that reported that hiring managers will make their decision about a candidate within the first 4.3 minutes that they meet. After our impressions are formed, we then start to justify how we feel rather than being open to new data points.

We had family visiting this past weekend and there was no better example of how we slide back (or stay) with old habits. I know I found myself getting impatient with patterns that I’ve experienced with my family versus being open to learning more about them. They brought their dog, Happy, and he and Grace were often sniffing and exploring things together and I think they were much better about living in the moment and staying with the present situation rather than relying on what they had experienced in previous visits with each other.

Suzanne’s point about this question is that in order to have a stronger, more meaningful relationship with your dog (which translates to higher compliance in training efforts, for example), you need to know how they sort out their world. Are they focused on auditory sensory stimuli? Or visual? Do they like people? Or just tolerate them? Do they enjoy physical activities? Or prefer mental games with puzzles and toys? If you were able to satisfy and/or work within their frame of reference, do you think you’d have a happier and well-adjusted dog? You bet.

When managers can build upon an employee’s strengths and natural work styles, everyone will benefit. When we don’t take the time to understand a person, we miss out on so much that they can offer. Suzanne was quick to remind us that we need to continue to ask the question, even when we think we know it all. Things change and the best relationships are built upon a solid comprehension of the situation – which can change under different circumstances. Have you ever had an employee who was exceptional in their job, and then was promoted, only to have devastating results? Career growth is important and should always be part of our plan, but we have to do it thoughtfully, with a strong understanding of who that person is at the core of those decisions.

Grace can stretch and learn new things, but she and I both have to work together to manage the best ways for her to develop. And I admit that asking the question [‘who are you?’] about Grace does not automatically come to the forefront of my mind. But when I do remember it, it helps me to stop doing things to her, versus involving her in the plan of action.

Making progress is the important thing when you’re looking for changes

On August 5, 2011 / Change, Graceful Leadership / 4 Comments

This was Grace at our second agility lesson. Even though it was only a little more than a year ago, it's hard to remember how difficult it was for her to even walk on the A-Frame. As you see, she was exiting very quickly, not even going two steps up! There were lots and lots of baby steps involved in helping her feel comfortable with this new piece of equipment.

The question often comes up: “Is it possible for someone to change?”

After just a few months of lessons, she was off and running without any worries on the A-Frame. Photo by Annie Card.

I believe it’s possible. However, it’s difficult and the circumstances surrounding it have a major impact on the success of the endeavor. First, we need to establish a realistic timeframe; another aspect is to focus on small improvements, without expecting for transformations to occur in too short a period of time. None of us can make huge changes overnight that will last.

Suzanne Clothier shared an excellent example of this at the recent workshop I attended with her. I can’t even remember what she was teaching the dog, but that’s not the important part of the story. She was working alongside another trainer at the time, who she felt was rushing the process. So Suzanne took a stopwatch and timed the length of time between requests and action on the dog’s part. The other trainer was ready to step in and attempt some type of correction or adjustment after about 10 seconds, where Suzanne waited at least twice that long. After a series of requests, Suzanne got out of the dog what she wanted only after two minutes. She could see a progression of positive steps from the dog, so the longer intervals weren’t a big deal for her. What she really wanted to see were improvements — a progression of positive events is what’s important.

I was part of a very similar conversation this past week when working with an organization. One person mentioned that the speed of learning has to do with the method of teaching. If the teacher is able to adapt to the student more closely, the information will be processed more rapidly. Sometimes we can be so focused on when we think something should happen, that we lose track of what’s possible for the other person.

Look for baby steps. Those will lead to sustainable change.

Establishing rules works in tandem with freedom of choice

On August 2, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 8 Comments

When traveling in a car, it's more challenging to get her to stay in her bed (as shown here in our bed). But I finally figured out that if I allow her to make the decision, it works much better than me trying to force her there.

We all need rules. This doesn’t hinder our ability to be creative or have decision-making abilities. I think these are often confused. In the last post, I described how Suzanne Clothiercreates interactions between a dog and a human where dogs have a level of decision-making. When a dog can figure out a situation on their own, they are much more likely to comply with what you want, versus being forced into some behavior.

I tried an experiment this weekend. Many Sunday mornings, we drive to a different location for a walk in the woods in search of mushrooms. Sometimes we drive ten minutes, sometimes an hour. Grace whines a good portion of the drive, perhaps from excitement, or maybe nervousness, I’m not sure. We’ve tried a lot of things to get her to be calm and quiet in the car, without much success. I thought about Suzanne’s approach and wondered how I could get Grace to make this decision on her own.

My idea was to give her a nice treat (small cubes of deli turkey meat) when she sat quietly in her bed. The only time she’d get the treat is when she made the decision to go in her bed on her own. No tempting, no luring, no asking from me. When and if she went to her bed on her own accord, then she’d get a nice treat. It would be my way of saying, “Thank you, good job!”

This past Sunday, she knew I had the turkey and she’d come sit in my lap, she’d paw at my hand and arm, she’d whine. I said nothing to her at all. As soon as she made her way to the back seat and landed in the bed, she got a treat. If she stayed there at a stoplight or a turn (when she normally would be up and looking, whining louder and louder), I’d give her a treat. It really worked!

After the second time, I could see that she was already making the connection and she willingly rested in her bed for much of the trip. At the very end of the drive as we pulled into the parking area, she lost her composure and reverted to her old ways, but in a 45-minute timeframe, our ride was dramatically different from past ones.

There were rules in this “game.” And after a short while, I could see her become focused on the activity, and taking initiative on her own part to play by these rules. This puzzle became an interesting challenge for her, as opposed to her being bored or nervous as she has been during previous rides.

In a recent conversation I had with a manager about an employee who was struggling in their work, we talked about ensuring that the employee had ownership for the solutions to improving. We need to engage individuals in the problem-solving, but we first must establish the rules that exist. For example, what is the timeframe for improvement? What is expected from the employee? What will happen if the results aren’t good? Both the manager and the employee should agree on the outcomes, including a determination of the quality of the work needed (the manager makes the final decision if there is a difference of opinion); the decisions about how to accomplish it should be driven by the employee.

Remember to be patient—don’t lure with treats too soon—allow the person to make their own choices and perhaps make a mistake or two as they figure out the best methods for success. Before I gave Grace the permission to make her own decisions about riding in the car, the rules were unclear and confusing to her. She could sit in my lap; she could sit in her bed, she could sit quietly or whine and aside from the occasional “shhhhhhhhh” or “noooooooo”, there was virtually no difference in the environment from her perspective.

Are you sending mixed signals to your employees by saying little or nothing when things go wrong? Employees need to know what the boundaries are for performance. What am I working to accomplish? What is my goal? Can I miss by a little? Or by a lot? What will happen if I don’t do what I say I was going to do? The manager needs to be clear on the desired goal, too. In absence of this, how can anyone achieve it?

Also be sure you know how much flexibility you can afford when things don’t go the way you hoped. What will happen if the goals are missed? Sometimes it might be ok, yet at other times it could be devastating to the organization. Be sure you communicate those parameters to everyone involved. Give others the freedom to make decisions but ensure that you both understand the rules first.

When things don’t get done … ask again?

On July 29, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 2 Comments

Even though Grace prefers her crate at night for sleeping, she is not happy to be in a crate when we're at agility. She whines and scratches the sides to get out and I find myself repeatedly asking her to settle down. My challenge is to understand why she isn't comfortable with my request to sit quietly there. She's giving me a look as if she is thinking about it but she and I aren

I’ve always heard that when you give a command to a dog, it’s not good form to keep repeating it until the dog complies. If I ask Grace to come, she should come—right then. Not wait until my third or fourth request, which would encourage a behavior and attitude for Grace that says, “I can come on my schedule instead of yours.”

Suzanne Clothier believes this, too, but presented the concept from a completely different perspective that really helped me think about how and when I ask Grace for something—and especially how to react when she doesn’t comply.

Suzanne illustrated this with one of the dogs who also attended the recent seminar I’ve mentioned in the last few posts. Luke is a beautiful, large, black standard poodle (at least I think that was the breed, if I’m wrong, I’d encourage any reader who was there to correct me) who had been returned to his breeder because he was becoming hard to handle. In reality, Luke was highly intelligent and was being put in situations that were physically not appropriate (such an alpha roll) and Luke didn’t like it. He was confident and strong enough to let those owners know how he felt about it. Yet the humans felt his actions were too aggressive instead of understanding they were creating the issue. When working with Luke, Suzanne recognized that his demeanor and actions were coming from a place of intelligence versus being aggressive and obstinate.

At the seminar, Luke was accompanied by Rachel, his breeder, who was wise enough to take him back from the owners. Luke did not want to leave Rachel’s side, feeling protective as Rachel got emotional talking about the ordeal Luke had been through. Suzanne took Luke’s leash and softly walked away, but not far enough to put tension on the lead. She asked Luke to follow her, in a normal tone of voice. Luke did not budge. Neither did Suzanne. But she remained calm and quiet. She waited. She gave Luke a chance to process the request. After about 20 seconds or so, she walked back to Luke and Rachel, but did not repeat the command. She didn’t scold nor console nor reward. She talked to Rachel and the group a bit more, ignoring Luke which gave him time to think and to trust the situation.

Suzanne then walked away again, same distance, same command. Asking only once, she let him think about the invitation. Rather than repeat the command, as if Luke hadn’t heard it, or pull on the leash to use force to get her way, Suzanne’s point was to respect why Luke wasn’t joining her and patiently let him arrive at the decision to obey. Her method honored Luke’s choice, but she also worked with him to feel safe to move.

After about 15 seconds, with some trepidation, Luke joined her and she praised him heavily. This process continued, where Luke started to come more quickly and confidently and at a farther distance from Rachel. Suzanne’s philosophy is to respect that the dog knows why he isn’t doing something and trust that decision. Then work to find ways for the dog to comply within parameters that work for everyone.

Luke’s resistance wasn’t because he opted to be stubborn. He had a reason. And it’s no different from when a co-worker doesn’t follow up on something you expected. It’s not their intention to drop the ball. But before we sit at our desks and fester over it, or start reprimanding, or worst of all, create a poor performance evaluation without any discussion, be proactive and evaluate potential reasons for their lack of action.

Perhaps they didn’t know the timeframe or the priority. Or they didn’t know how to proceed with the task. Or maybe they didn’t agree with the next step and felt there was no opportunity for discussion about other options.

Suzanne was clear. Always trust that the decision the dog makes is made based on what they feel is best for them. It’s not that you have to accept that answer. The point is that in order to move forward productively, you need to understand why they feel the way they do.

Asking someone to do the same thing a second time without acknowledging why the first time didn’t work won’t likely change the outcome. The best thing you can do is understand it and then address it.

Maslow, baseball, and being safe

On July 27, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 4 Comments

When Grace feels safe, she can literally fly! I love this picture, it's as if she is soaring, both mentally and physically through this obstacle that she has mastered on her own terms, because she has felt safe doing so. Photo by Annie Card.

We watch a lot of baseball in this house. I’m not very good at those split second calls to determine whether the runner reaches the base before the ball. It all happens so fast to me and while I’m still trying to figure it out, I hear an echo in the room between my husband and Don Orsilloproclaiming: “SAFE!” They almost always get the call right.

I go through this with Grace, too. There can be a split second balance between when she feels safe and when she’s not. And I know there have been times when I catch myself discounting her fear—because I know she’ll be fine. When I’m not respectful of her fear, I have in essence, violated her safety zone. For example, when we walk down the street, we occasionally come upon someone new walking and typically the person wants to say hello to Grace. She might back up, hide behind me, or perhaps whine. And I’ve said to her, “It’s ok, Grace. You’ll be fine. This nice person just wants to say hello.” And that does absolutely nothing to make her feel safe. (The better choice is to ask the person to ignore Grace and allow Grace to initiate any interaction on her own terms.)

It was another important lesson I learned at the recent seminar I attended by Suzanne Clothier on fearful dogs—only the dog can define the safe zone. As Suzanne reminded us, safety is the second of five of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (just above basic needs like food and shelter). Until the needs are met at each level of the pyramid, you cannot move up. If we create an unsafe environment, we are going to remain there, until we feel secure. We can all understand how a child suffering from malnutrition would not be able to focus on school work. Suzanne’s belief, and one that makes sense to me, is that no learning can take place when a dog feels unsafe. But once that dog feels safe, you can teach him nearly anything.

Grace can learn to greet new people – if she can experience that in a safe environment, but never while she’s so terrified that she can’t think straight. You can’t remove fear by telling another person it shouldn’t exist; they have to come to that conclusion.

In organizations, that means that if we want employees to learn new skills, or take bold risks that will improve efficiencies, or bring forward a ground-breaking idea that might initially sound crazy, they need to exist in a safe environment, one that fosters innovation without repercussions.

Are you, as a manager – or a co-worker or a team member – creating safe zones for others? Do you respect the opinion of others and allow them to openly voice an opposing viewpoint? Do you reward ideas even if they don’t work out or do you ridicule or punish for those, even in subtle ways? Are you discounting how someone feels, just because you don’t feel that way?

Only the employee can define the safe zone.

As managers, it’s our responsibility to understand that zone, realizing it’s different with each person, and can change with a new situation. Stay in the game, so you can make that split-second decision whether to call it safe or not.

Handling difficult situations: do you “manage” it or do you have skills to work through it?

On July 22, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Managing / Leave a comment

Cheese is a delicious short-term fix but isn't the best way to solve a problem.

When we get into a difficult situation, it’s common to just want the problem to go away. Who wouldn’t?

The way we deal with challenging situations is the key to any conflict. For those times when we don’t handle conflict well, it’s most likely because we never learned the skills to know how to navigate constructively out of it.

At the recent seminar by Suzanne Clothier, my new dog-training hero, she talked about methods to help resolve dog behavior issues. One is “management,” which is basically trying to desensitize or counter condition the behavior, such as averting attention from a bad thing to a better thing.

This isn't a great picture but it shows a time when I was trying to distract Grace with a treat. She's alert to me, but she still has a look of concern on her face. It may help reduce her anxiety of the situation momentarily, but it doesn't solve the bigger problem.

There are times when this helps. However, there is a big downside. It leaves the dog vulnerable when you aren’t around to play manager. An example of this for Grace is that when she hears or sees kids walking down the street, she gets very nervous (understatement). I’ll lure her into the kitchen with a fresh handful of cheese and have her go through rounds of ‘sit’ and ‘down’ to distract her while the kids pass by. She knows they are there but she’s more interested in the block of cheddar. But when I’m not home and the kids go by, she’s just as freaked out as she always has been, with nothing to do except stay within her fear, an unpleasant place to be.

The second option Suzanne discussed is to help the dog build skills to deal with the challenging situation. With Grace’s level of fear, it’s a multi-prong approach, but there are things to do. The skills Suzanne teaches require that the dog uses her brain to make choices on her own. This is the best option because it allows the dog to always be in control of how she reacts, even in the most challenging situations and when she’s facing it alone.

One of my clients has a stated expectation that the employees will self-manage themselves (which despite the inclusion of the word manage, is more like having the skills). The work flow is set up with a team structure versus a traditional manager-employee model. It works well for the employees and the business because it forces everyone to think about the impact they are having on each other; they work through those situations directly and collaboratively, using their minds to problem-solve versus being told what to do. Simple things like vacations aren’t approved or disapproved by a manager; they are decided by the team based on who needs to be there to get the work done. It requires that you have the skills to work through a conflict when multiple people want the same day off, which can happen during the summer or holiday seasons.

In situations of conflict in the organization, lots of time people will bury their head in the sand. Somehow they think that ignoring it will make it go away. They offer a treat of cheese without dealing with the root cause of the fear that exists from the kids walking the street.

Just as Suzanne teaches a variety of methods for building skills, there are lots of skills humans can employ in the workplace to work through a stressful, challenging, or difficult situation. One basic skill is to simply have the conversation. Don’t ignore the problem. It will not go away just because you want it to. Set aside time to talk directly with the others involved. Be respectful. Share ideas for resolution. And don’t think you have to solve it all at once. Ongoing, open dialogue is the foundation for healthy relationships. And with mutual trust, you can solve anything.

How is this for you?

On July 19, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 8 Comments

It seems to me Grace has a pose that says, "I'm ready to talk when you're ready to listen."

If you’ve been here recently, you know that Grace and I attended a workshop this past weekend designed to help dogs who are fearful. The presenter was Suzanne Clothier and it was hosted at our local humane shelter. This seminar left me with so much information that I’m still processing it all. It was sixteen hours filled with an amazing array of learning experiences.

When you’re in the presence of someone who is extraordinarily competent and compassionate, it becomes unmistakable in a short amount of time. Suzanne is that person. It’s impossible to fake the level of knowledge and experience that she brings to her work. Then add on top of that, an unyielding commitment that a dog’s safety and well-being comes before everything else. There were times (several times actually) that she stopped an exercise when it was too much for the dog. She would not push ahead just for the sake of illustration. Her vow to the dog to maintain a sense of safety and security was sacred.

I could never do justice to Suzanne’s information and presentation style, nor am I in any way qualified to offer suggestions based on what I learned regarding how to train a dog. This isn’t about offering dog training suggestions. It’s about sharing my revelations.

It’s tempting to focus on the specific tips that a person can do to help fearful dogs. But I knew as I walked out each night, it was bigger than that. It was about the greater relationship you build with the dog. During the workshop, attendees would pose a situation or question to Suzanne such as, “I’m not sure if I should do this,” or “Would it have been ok to do that?” Suzanne’s response was startling to me. Sometimes her answer was, “I don’t know. Ask the dog.”

Some of you might be thinking that’s a cop-out. Or she’s a nutcase who doesn’t have a clue. You’d be wrong. While I certainly was left feeling that I don’t know how to read the answers to a question I’d pose to Grace, I definitely gained an appreciation that Grace would have an opinion that I’d not thought to ask of her before. Just like an infant who isn’t able to form words, it doesn’t mean they don’t think or feel.

The answers come from their body language, actions, movements, and for Suzanne, there is also a mental communication that she can translate between them without words. I believe it. I just don’t know how to get there.

There’s another important component. She respects their answer.

How many times in an organization do we forget to involve the affected parties when making decisions? Can you think of a time when your manager took action on something that affected you and didn’t involve you? You bet. It’s not to say that an employee can always get what they want, but that they matter when options are considered.

If health care organizations always thought about the patient experience when developing processes, our systems would be dramatically different. What if a doctor asked a patient, “How is this for you?” If the patient questions a course of action, does the practitioner work to adjust the situation that will fit the patient’s needs? Making those adjustments shows respect for the patient’s voice.

Have you ever been caught in bureaucratic red-tape when trying to reach the right department at a call center? They would change their phone tree system if they asked the customer, “How is this for you?”

What if our educators asked students, “How is this for you?”

To be completely honest, I hadn’t thought about asking Grace how certain things are for her. Despite the fact that I would move a mountain if I could to make her world a better place, this weekend I learned that I could simply ask her when I’m not sure. And knowing that Suzanne can accomplish this with dogs, I am quite sure we can do better in our organizations by asking one question: “How is this for you?”