Training | PeopleSense Consulting

Why a dog matters to your leadership style

On January 3, 2012 / Graceful Leadership, Managing / 10 Comments

This picture was taken just days after I got Grace. She wore a harness because she had escaped from a collar while at her foster home and had remained outdoors for a few weeks, not allowing anyone to catch her. I wanted to make sure she became familiar with her new surroundings so that she would know this was her home before allowing her off-leash, a process that took many months.

I’m in the midst of redesigning my website. One of the primary goals is to integrate this blog so it has the same look and feel as the website. Which means I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how to articulate why this dog-inspired blog should beintegrated to my consulting practice. One might wonder how they are related at all!

I’ve had dogs most of my life, but when I found Grace in 2005, something was different. There was almost an immediate – and ongoing – connection between my experiences with her and my work. It was kinda strange, but also very intriguing. At the time, I wrote a few articles for my monthly newsletter, but I never published those stories. Time passed but the feeling I had about this connection didn’t.

Fast forward to February 2011 when a marketing consultant and I were having a conversation. After I told her that I just kept thinking of all the parallels, she encouraged me to write about Grace. So I did. (Thank you, Annie.) When I sit down to write these posts, the inspiration comes so easily. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what I’m going to say before I start; somehow the ideas find their way effortlessly from my fingers to the keyboard.

The person helping me with the website redesign suggested I come up with a list of 20 reasons why the connection between dogs and leadership were important to me. That list quickly outnumbered 20! But the list was wordy and not very clever. I felt stuck (and still do) with coming up with a catchy, meaningful phrase. (I welcome any suggestions!)

This was taken the other night, a peaceful Grace with her favorite squirrel toy close by in her comfy bed. The best managers mentor employees, placing a priority and focus on professional development. I

Mostly, I feel that all things are connected in our lives. The way we approach a problem with our dog is going to be the same as the way we approach a situation as a manager. (I can see some of you shaking your head in disagreement about that one. That deserves its own post where I can share lots of examples.)

We learn best from real-life experiences and will have a greater appreciation for those things that are familiar and dear to us. I’ve had people tell me that even though they don’t currently have a dog, they understand the connections I’m making with situations in the workplace.

I also believe that our learning doesn’t happen in isolation. We don’t have to attend a seminar on leadership to learn about leadership. We can witness situations with other people – or dogs – and gain valuable knowledge and skills.

One obvious example is how Grace’s fearful nature impacts her interactions with others, especially small children. She will either cower or strike, depending on the severity of the situation where she feels backed into a corner. And that is no different in a workplace. When an employee feels threatened, likely in more subtle ways from something that may appear completely benign, such as receiving constructive feedback about their performance, they may shut down or act out. Understanding where they are coming from will help navigate the best outcomes.

Watching this video makes me laugh at how simple it seems on the surface — what dog wouldn’t follow your hand for a treat? But often we forget that the simplest things must be mastered before we can learn more challenging tasks. This easy exercise was recommended by our agility instructor to get Grace familiar with moving in different directions. If managers skip the foundation, nothing worthwhile can be built.

JavaScript required to play Training requires building a foundation of things that seem ridiculously easy..

I’ve always loved facilitating strong and constructive relationships in the workplace, whether as a manager or a team member. I’ve made mistakes and had some grand accomplishments.

Yesterday I made three dozen whitefish, oat, and vegetable muffins for Grace, as part of my new attempt to feed her healthy (and homemade) food, something I never imagined doing before learning more about a dog's nutritional needs. This is particularly significant since I don

And with Grace, the same is true. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve also had some big successes in her development. It’s been a rewarding journey that has a long way to go.

My hope is that as I share these events, we can benefit and learn together. As we enter this new year, I look forward to discovering new experiences with Grace — and with all of you. Your perspective, feedback, ideas, information, and support that you offer is so helpful, not just to me, but to others. Combining shared wisdom is much more powerful (and fun)!

That’s a model I’d like to set for workplace environments, too.

Two things to do when someone is ignoring you

On November 29, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 7 Comments

"It's just easier to go around ...."

There are times when I feel that Grace is ignoring me. (And I’m sure she does on occasion.)

But mostly I think she just doesn’t always understand what I’m saying. What often looks to me as if she’s ignoring me is very likely a result of her not knowing what I’m saying. When she’s afraid and I say, “It’s o.k.; those kids aren’t going to hurt you,” her fear isn’t allowing her to comprehend me.

"And I like following where you go ...."

Agility is an incredible practice field to learn how to communicate more clearly. Every word, intonation, and movement becomes pieces to the puzzle that help Grace and I learn how to converse more effectively. If I said ‘tunnel’ when I meant ‘tire’ (which happened at times when I got hurried or distracted), I made it even more difficult for her to decipher my message. You’d think getting the right word would be the easy part – and it was! So you can imagine other times when I forgot to offer a hand signal or moved in a direction that was confusing instead of clarifying.

Who are you?

On August 16, 2011 / Communicating, Graceful Leadership / 12 Comments

This adorable exchange between Grace and Happy occurred on the morning that Happy was leaving -- four days after his arrival. It looks like they are still trying to get to know each other. We can learn from their constant curiosity and exploration as opposed to thinking we already know it all.

I’m still reviewing and processing all the information I learned at Suzanne Clothier’s recent workshop on fearful dogs. The lessons most certainly apply to all dogs – and people.

She suggests that there are elemental questions that we should ask a dog when interacting with her. The first of those questions is: “Who are you?” It seems like an easy-enough question to pose. But like most “simple” things in life, they aren’t always easy and can require quite an effort to reach the quality of outcomes that are possible.

If indeed we do think about asking this question, it’s typically on the first time we meet someone. We try to assess someone’s appearance, demeanor, words, and actions. And we do this quickly. In fact, the Society for Human Resource Management Association produced a study that reported that hiring managers will make their decision about a candidate within the first 4.3 minutes that they meet. After our impressions are formed, we then start to justify how we feel rather than being open to new data points.

We had family visiting this past weekend and there was no better example of how we slide back (or stay) with old habits. I know I found myself getting impatient with patterns that I’ve experienced with my family versus being open to learning more about them. They brought their dog, Happy, and he and Grace were often sniffing and exploring things together and I think they were much better about living in the moment and staying with the present situation rather than relying on what they had experienced in previous visits with each other.

Suzanne’s point about this question is that in order to have a stronger, more meaningful relationship with your dog (which translates to higher compliance in training efforts, for example), you need to know how they sort out their world. Are they focused on auditory sensory stimuli? Or visual? Do they like people? Or just tolerate them? Do they enjoy physical activities? Or prefer mental games with puzzles and toys? If you were able to satisfy and/or work within their frame of reference, do you think you’d have a happier and well-adjusted dog? You bet.

When managers can build upon an employee’s strengths and natural work styles, everyone will benefit. When we don’t take the time to understand a person, we miss out on so much that they can offer. Suzanne was quick to remind us that we need to continue to ask the question, even when we think we know it all. Things change and the best relationships are built upon a solid comprehension of the situation – which can change under different circumstances. Have you ever had an employee who was exceptional in their job, and then was promoted, only to have devastating results? Career growth is important and should always be part of our plan, but we have to do it thoughtfully, with a strong understanding of who that person is at the core of those decisions.

Grace can stretch and learn new things, but she and I both have to work together to manage the best ways for her to develop. And I admit that asking the question [‘who are you?’] about Grace does not automatically come to the forefront of my mind. But when I do remember it, it helps me to stop doing things to her, versus involving her in the plan of action.

Making progress is the important thing when you’re looking for changes

On August 5, 2011 / Change, Graceful Leadership / 4 Comments

This was Grace at our second agility lesson. Even though it was only a little more than a year ago, it's hard to remember how difficult it was for her to even walk on the A-Frame. As you see, she was exiting very quickly, not even going two steps up! There were lots and lots of baby steps involved in helping her feel comfortable with this new piece of equipment.

The question often comes up: “Is it possible for someone to change?”

After just a few months of lessons, she was off and running without any worries on the A-Frame. Photo by Annie Card.

I believe it’s possible. However, it’s difficult and the circumstances surrounding it have a major impact on the success of the endeavor. First, we need to establish a realistic timeframe; another aspect is to focus on small improvements, without expecting for transformations to occur in too short a period of time. None of us can make huge changes overnight that will last.

Suzanne Clothier shared an excellent example of this at the recent workshop I attended with her. I can’t even remember what she was teaching the dog, but that’s not the important part of the story. She was working alongside another trainer at the time, who she felt was rushing the process. So Suzanne took a stopwatch and timed the length of time between requests and action on the dog’s part. The other trainer was ready to step in and attempt some type of correction or adjustment after about 10 seconds, where Suzanne waited at least twice that long. After a series of requests, Suzanne got out of the dog what she wanted only after two minutes. She could see a progression of positive steps from the dog, so the longer intervals weren’t a big deal for her. What she really wanted to see were improvements — a progression of positive events is what’s important.

I was part of a very similar conversation this past week when working with an organization. One person mentioned that the speed of learning has to do with the method of teaching. If the teacher is able to adapt to the student more closely, the information will be processed more rapidly. Sometimes we can be so focused on when we think something should happen, that we lose track of what’s possible for the other person.

Look for baby steps. Those will lead to sustainable change.

Maslow, baseball, and being safe

On July 27, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 4 Comments

When Grace feels safe, she can literally fly! I love this picture, it's as if she is soaring, both mentally and physically through this obstacle that she has mastered on her own terms, because she has felt safe doing so. Photo by Annie Card.

We watch a lot of baseball in this house. I’m not very good at those split second calls to determine whether the runner reaches the base before the ball. It all happens so fast to me and while I’m still trying to figure it out, I hear an echo in the room between my husband and Don Orsilloproclaiming: “SAFE!” They almost always get the call right.

I go through this with Grace, too. There can be a split second balance between when she feels safe and when she’s not. And I know there have been times when I catch myself discounting her fear—because I know she’ll be fine. When I’m not respectful of her fear, I have in essence, violated her safety zone. For example, when we walk down the street, we occasionally come upon someone new walking and typically the person wants to say hello to Grace. She might back up, hide behind me, or perhaps whine. And I’ve said to her, “It’s ok, Grace. You’ll be fine. This nice person just wants to say hello.” And that does absolutely nothing to make her feel safe. (The better choice is to ask the person to ignore Grace and allow Grace to initiate any interaction on her own terms.)

It was another important lesson I learned at the recent seminar I attended by Suzanne Clothier on fearful dogs—only the dog can define the safe zone. As Suzanne reminded us, safety is the second of five of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (just above basic needs like food and shelter). Until the needs are met at each level of the pyramid, you cannot move up. If we create an unsafe environment, we are going to remain there, until we feel secure. We can all understand how a child suffering from malnutrition would not be able to focus on school work. Suzanne’s belief, and one that makes sense to me, is that no learning can take place when a dog feels unsafe. But once that dog feels safe, you can teach him nearly anything.

Grace can learn to greet new people – if she can experience that in a safe environment, but never while she’s so terrified that she can’t think straight. You can’t remove fear by telling another person it shouldn’t exist; they have to come to that conclusion.

In organizations, that means that if we want employees to learn new skills, or take bold risks that will improve efficiencies, or bring forward a ground-breaking idea that might initially sound crazy, they need to exist in a safe environment, one that fosters innovation without repercussions.

Are you, as a manager – or a co-worker or a team member – creating safe zones for others? Do you respect the opinion of others and allow them to openly voice an opposing viewpoint? Do you reward ideas even if they don’t work out or do you ridicule or punish for those, even in subtle ways? Are you discounting how someone feels, just because you don’t feel that way?

Only the employee can define the safe zone.

As managers, it’s our responsibility to understand that zone, realizing it’s different with each person, and can change with a new situation. Stay in the game, so you can make that split-second decision whether to call it safe or not.

Oh chute, this is easy!

On July 15, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Training / 3 Comments

This was the first time Grace was exposed to the barrel and chute at agility. Rachel, our trainer, and I were focused on helping her feel comfortable just walking through the barrel without the chute extended.

I was a presenter at a workshop yesterday discussing best practices for successful hiring of employees. Before we started, I was talking with one of the attendees, wanting to know if there was a particular thing that triggered her to come. She said that she was always interested in learning more about HR topics, adding that “if you’re a good manager, you have interest in HR”. Her view—and I agree—is that if you aren’t interested in developing the people who you manage, you’re probably not a very good manager.

Step 2: She actually walked through the barrel! Accomplishing something that we think is easy could be very challenging for someone else. Rachel knew that the feel of the nylon and the enclosed space might create anxiety for Grace, so it was important to have patience and empathy for the roadblocks in Grace

It makes me think of the seminar I’m attending this weekend with Grace for dogs that are fearful. As I mentioned in a recent post, I do wonder where the point of progress stops for her. But I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t think it would help her (and me), so I suppose I really do have faith that it will yield some improvements.

As a dog owner, parent, or manager, there is a commitment of time, energy, and effort to constantly be focused on the development of others. It can be a rewarding process or an exhausting one, linked to the results you see and the effort put in return. When days turn into weeks, and then months, it’s natural to forget how far someone has come in their development. We start to focus on what’s left to learn, what needs to change, rather than all we’ve accomplished. I realize that lately I’ve focused on the annoying barking that I hear from Grace when I’m in the middle of a conference call or that incessant whining when we’re in the car. I’m not remembering those things that she has overcome.

Months later and lots of time spent supporting and encouraging, Grace loves running through the extended nylon chute. It

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your own progress, or that of others, it might help to stop and reflect on what has been accomplished. That can give you renewed confidence that more is yet to come.

Make time to devote to your professional development

On June 24, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Leading / 5 Comments

Sunny was a patient teacher

I’ve been on the road for the last couple of weeks – away on a combination of business stops mingled with a few family visits. I haven’t seen Grace for nine days and I really miss her. Of course, I miss my husband, too, along with all the routines that I enjoy in my life.

Immersed in a different daily regimen is energizing, though. The last several days I’ve spent with colleagues getting a deeper understanding of the assessment tools I use in my work. After finishing the coursework (and assuming I pass the test), I’ll receive the certification offered by Profiles International. I’ve worked with these tools for ten years and I’m still developing a robust knowledge bank about the scientific foundation of the assessments and the applications for their use. One of my favorite parts of these types of meetings is the interaction with my peers. We share information and ideas with each other that is invaluable for our professional development.

Somehow I think Grace knew she could learn from Sunny. They played endlessly, yet it was always clear that Sunny was the teacher. Grace gladly accepted the role of student. They both walked away richer for the experiences.

Being a student can be fun. When I first got Grace, we lived next door to a couple who were real dog lovers. They had one dog and another that was dropped off every weekday morning by family to stay while they were at work. Sunny was a beautiful, well-adjusted golden retriever who served as an important role model for Grace. She was a dream dog by any standard and I loved that Grace could be around her. It provided the type of mentorship that only another dog could provide to Grace.

We need those situations where we can learn from each other. Just being submerged into sessions with a variety of perspectives is worthwhile. Spending this time not only expands what I know, it shakes up how I think about things and makes it all fresh.

Grace watched Sunny's every move, especially when she did things Grace was scared to do, like swimming.

It was tempting to think that investing in this time—including travel it’s practically an entire week—was more than I could spare. It would have been easier to stay at home. Yet I know that without carving out time for continual learning, I would have limited my potential for new and better knowledge.

Make time to devote to your professional development. Even if you’d rather be at home.

Learning anything complex takes time—don’t shortchange the process

On June 17, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Training / 7 Comments

As she gets familiar with the weave poles, my job is to guide her through with a treat but I think she's more interested in watching our wonderful photographer friend, Annie Card. Thanks to Annie for all the pictures in today's post!

One of the agility obstacles that Grace and I have not spent a lot of time with is the weave poles. When first learning this particular skill, the poles are “open” to create a channel that the dog walks through. Eventually, the goal is to have poles “closed” or set in a straight line so the dog then weaves around each pole in a zig-zag pattern. The most advanced dog will fly through as fast as they can – speed is required for winning agility dogs.

At a recent class, Grace did really well with these poles—considering how little we’ve worked with them. She readily goes in but she sometimes veers off in the middle or enters after the second pole instead of the first. There is also a standard for how you enter the poles and even I can’t remember if it’s right or left, so I’m fairly confident that Grace doesn’t remember that yet, either. We both have some learning to do.

The thing that amazes me about agility – and I believe it’s true about so many things—is how simple it can look on the surface but how complex it is to truly master it. Agility can provide a fun and non-competitive activity that has benefits of exercise along with mental stimulation. Yet it provides the opportunity for mastery of a complex craft; there is so much to know about the nuances of every move, yours and the dog. I’m starting to realize that it can take years to develop sufficient knowledge and efficient skills that encompass every single movement of your hand, the words you use, and the placement of your body. All of it (and most likely much more) determines the dog’s ability to perform.

Mastering the open weave poles -- staying inside!

In business, it seems we often don’t create this structured learning cycle. Because people have full plates and it is difficult to devote adequate time to training, employees are expected to perform at the highest level, immediately. Some managers provide the environment for risk-taking and mistakes, many do not. On-the-job training is valuable, but should be supported by strong mentoring and knowledgeable resources. If the learning process is rushed, incomplete or random, it can create so many issues, potentially ending in failure or blemishes on a person’s self-esteem.

"Look at me! I'm so GOOD at this!!" (Doesn't she look proud?)

When Grace goes through the weave poles right now, she thinks she’s a champion. She doesn’t even realize that we’ve only just begun. With each opportunity to build her confidence, we move to the next level. In agility, our instructor, Rachel works to make sure that the last experience for each dog on each piece of equipment is a positive one, so that they are excited to return for more. We need to stretch our physical and mental muscles, but we must also rest them, too, for the best learning.

How much focus do you need to get what you want?

On April 12, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Training / Leave a comment

This is an example of a discrimination exercise, where the dog has a choice of two pieces of equipment. Your job is to ensure the dog goes to the place you intended. You will see Riley, Grace

Focus. No distractions. Having all your attention on something—it’s a good thing.

Until you lose your focus.

That’s what happened to me at agility last week. And I didn’t even realize it until a fellow classmate, Patricia, recognized it had happened to both of us. I loved our class last week. It turned out that there were only two dogs and so we had a bit more opportunity to practice some of the skills.

One of the first things we did was a front cross technique; as Grace exited the tunnel, I would cross in front of her from the left to the right, then I would ask her to jump, on the hurdle now on my left. I needed to make sure to pick up eye-contact with Grace as she came out of the tunnel, not quite that easy since Grace runs a lot faster than I do. After picking her up at the end of tunnel, I needed to guide her to the hurdle, now on my left, as opposed to her running right.

My first attempt was unsuccessful. So was my second.

Patricia was experiencing this as well, so Rachel slowed us down and showed us again. With a little practice and Rachel’s clear direction, we did it! Grace and Patricia’s adorable dog, Riley, did great—through that part of the exercise. Once we had completed that stage, we had several more jumps as part of the course Rachel had set up for us.

After we had gone through the course a few times, Patricia made the accurate observation that Riley and Grace had both made mistakes at the end of course. Once Patricia and I had successfully accomplished the task we were actively learning, we lost our focus.

I know I was assuming that the rest of course was “routine” and that Grace knew what to do. But as was so clearly evident afterwards, it was critical for me to keep my focus, helping her hit every tire and jump exactly as I knew she was capable of doing. But if I was unclear or wishy-washy about what I wanted her to do, she had a free pass to do what she wanted. She didn’t ‘miss’ intentionally—she just wasn’t clear what I wanted.

As we work with others on a project or learning a new skill, this can be the explanation why mistakes are made in places that were once mastered. Consistent focus is really necessary.

Learning takes time and can be scary, especially when you are supposed to know what you are doing!

On April 5, 2011 / Graceful Leadership, Training / 4 Comments

When Grace and I entered our agility class last week, it immediately hit me that learning takes time, repetition, and patience. I was walking around the agility room in familiar territory, feeling good about that. Yet I was simultaneously starting to worry if Grace and I would do well – or would we falter? Would we remember what we had learned from last year? Did I know when to do the front cross instead of the back cross? All sorts of questions started running through my head. I was feeling the pressure.

It was a bit scary. And all this for a fun agility course! In some ways, coming back was even more intimidating to me than when we went to our first lesson last year. At that point, expectations were low. Grace and I had no idea what to do and we relied on Rachel to instruct our every move. We were given lots of time to learn and pace our progress, without a specific deadline for mastering a particular skill.

But this time, I could feel an artificial expectation I had placed on us. It was clear that Grace wasn’t bothered by any lofty goal-setting. She wore a big smile and easily made her way around the equipment, prancing over the A-frame and skipping over the hurdles, whether she was supposed to or not! She was having fun and it helped me to remember not to put pressure on the situation.

With practice, she gracefully hops through the circular shape!

When we train others in the workplace – in fact when we are being trained – do we put unnecessary expectations on where we should be? I do believe we need goals, which are critically important to know where we are going and to stretch us past our comfort zone. But I also see, far too often, situations in the workplace where a manager has an unrealistic expectation for what a person should be accomplishing when they are learning a new behavior or skill. It takes time, repetition, and patience. (Oh, I already said that. But I think it bears repeating.)

Often, our training efforts get off to a great start because there is a strong focus and commitment to the effort, and we start to get lulled into complacency, believing the person being trained is all set. However as reinforcement and encouragement begin to wane, results suffer. Lucky for me and Grace, Rachel continued to provide that much-needed support. Having that guidance calmed my nerves and settled me back into having fun, which gave me the environment where I could learn openly, without being afraid of making a mistake. It is a big help to think of that now when I see someone moving through a new phase of their learning. In what ways can you encourage yourself, and others, to learn new behaviors?